Mistress Says So

Run. Run from those words like the plague. That's not a D/s relationship that's abuser.  There are ALWAYS safe words. Just in case shit hits the fan and something goes wrong.  Recently someone I know was treated badly and pushed beyond STOP. And the Domme said the words above as a reply for trying to stop. That's when the line is drawn and broken. Now it becomes abuse and not safe, sane, consentual play. 

I was browsing the tubes of you and came across some interesting things.  A beautiful Mistress saying in her breathless, sexy voice how Dominatrixes are not "real" Mistresses.  Why? Because they submit to men's desires and get paid for their services.  So now, in my book, she's shaming people for being themselves while being paid for it?! I honestly don't see a problem with that. It's all about the tease. The experience.  You pay to watch a movie. Does that mean those aren't real actors on the screen because they're not in theatre in the outfits projecting their voices for all to hear a small audience at a time?  This Mistress was calling out Dominatrixes for doing their jobs and getting paid for it. How is having a job bad? How is having fun while on the job bad? How is doing a good job bad? Especially if you're a reputable Mistress. Yes, Mistress.  Dominatrixes are Mistresses. And I don't see how them getting paid for it is bad. They don'...

Here's where I'm going to harp on people.  Respect the "no" word. It's a complete sentence.  Yes, I've stated this before but here's how it differs:  If I, a Domme, when a submissive asks if they can be mine politely decline and say no, respect it. If I already declined it doesn't mean try harder. That's the opposite of making me want to have you as a submissive. If you can't listen to a simple no when asking to be mine how can I trust you'll listen to something else I say or how can I trust you to safe word? Yes, it's a great ego boost and privilege when someone asks to be your Domme but please be ready to take rejection as well.  For example, my profile on Fet states that I'm looking for friends only. Yest I still receive applicants. I don't mind politely rejecting them and explaining to them that I'm simply looking for more like minded friendships in the community. And if that's okay with them perfect.  What's not...

My rule #1 is no lying. Which is why I have it stated in my contracts several times. I don't deal with lying. And if you do it once, what's to stop you from doing it again? Honesty is very important in D/s relationships because you trust your whole being to your Dom to do with as agreed upon. That's a big thing.  But let's go a bit of a different route. Say you trust your Dom and don't lie about scene things but what happens when you're not together.  Let's say you have an exclusivity clause in your contract but the sub goes and plays with other parties behind the Dom's back.  Everyone is different but in my book that's a breach of trust. Doesn't matter if the Dom has more than one sub if the sub decided to be doing things exclusively with their Dom that means everything else is literally cheating and betraying the Dom's trust.  There could be many reasons why the submissive is doing it and I'm not going to list them, that's not what ...

I've recently had something come to my attention. So it's soap box time. I was trying someone up and after everything was done, and they looked wonderful and gorgeous, it came time to untie. I'm doing my thing but I see them exhibiting odd behavior they're trying to hide. I ask them what's wrong and they say that they're feeling claustrophobic.  I ask if they need to be cut out and they say no because the rope is expansive . Now, FULL STOP. This is where my soap box begins. I don't care if the rope costs thousands or millions, the person in it is more important. I would whip out my scissors without a problem and cut up my handy work if something is not ok. If the submissive is panicky or doesn't feel good or, in this case, feels claustrophobic. I don't care about the price of my damn rope! The person tied up is the priceless one not some rope! Rope can be replaced. The person can't.  I like to give pleasure not anxiety.  Fuck the rope. If I have ...

Consent.  That one word that gets everyone into some kind of mental red light and taken either to mock or to avoid or to treat with respect. For some it's a good topic while for others it is a horrible reminder of things that shouldn't have happened.  Consent is a fragile thing that always needs to be revisited. From time to time.  In every relationship there is a base of rules where "no" means no and "no" is a complete sentence where you don't need to justify yourself or answer why your answer was no when asked rudely. If it's asked for clarification nicely, that becomes a good thing an a learning experience for the one that doesn't understand.  Consent is even in romantic relationships and in marriage. No one owes anyone anything. And it's especially important to note that it's no one's "right" to anything of the others body if met with a firm no. It isn't your right to molest someone just because you're together o...